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[14 Jun 2005|01:20pm]
saraismytwin
7 deadly sins! 7 heavly virtues! wat do u want to follow???

Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.

.

The Cardinal Virtues:
prudence, temperance, courage, justice

Classical Greek philosophers considered the foremost virtues to be prudence, temperance, courage, and justice. Early Christian Church theologians adopted these virtues and considered them to be equally important to all people, whether they were Christian or not.

The Theological Virtues:
love, hope, faith

St. Paul defined the three chief virtues as love, which was the essential nature of God, hope, and faith. Christian Church authorities called them the three theological virtues because they believed the virtues were not natural to man in his fallen state, but were conferred at Baptism.

The Seven Contrary Virtues:
humility, kindness, abstinence, chastity, patience, liberality, diligence

The Contrary Virtues were derived from the Psychomachia ("Battle for the Soul"), an epic poem written by Prudentius (c. 410). Practicing these virtues is alledged to protect one against temptation toward the Seven Deadly Sins: humility against pride, kindness against envy, abstinence against gluttony, chastity against lust, patience against anger, liberality against greed, and diligence against sloth.

The Seven Heavenly Virtues:
faith, hope, charity, fortitude, justice, temperance, prudence

The Heavenly Virtues combine the four Cardinal Virtues: prudence, temperance, fortitude -- or courage, and justice, with a variation of the theological virtues: faith, hope, and charity. I'm still researching the origins and popular usage of this formulation.

The Seven Corporal Works of Mercy

Continuing the numerological mysticism of Seven, the Christian Church assembled a list of seven good works that was included in medieval catechisms. They are: feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, give shelter to strangers, clothe the naked, visit the sick, minister to prisoners, and bury the dead.


Sin Punishment in Hell Animal Color
Pride broken on the wheel Horse Violet
Envy put in freezing water Dog Green
Anger dismembered alive Bear Red
Sloth thrown in snake pits Goat Light Blue
Greed put in cauldrons of boiling oil Frog Yellow
Gluttony forced to eat rats, toads, and snakes Pig Orange
Lust smothered in fire and brimstone Cow Blue
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updated [03 Jun 2005|09:56am]
saraismytwin
this week has been fun, wentto a few clubs, went through a car wash without the car, and saw a couple of movies, and worked out on my new bench press.

neways, heres some weird lyrics.

Bloodcraving by mortician
Awakened from the damp cold grave
Centuries undead the coffin’s slave
Hungering for taste of mortal blood
Hands breaking through the rotted wood
Tearing through the dirt
Rising from the earth
Ripping through the flesh, breaking limbs and bones
Blood pours from the neck, bodies torn and thrown
Feasting on the heart, gouging out the eyes
Organs torn apart, mortals scream and die
Zombie living dead
Forever to roam the earth

Blown to Pieces by mortician
Eyeballs burst out
Intestines strewn about
Your brains splattered
All teeth shattered
Your head explodes
All blood and bones
A splattered mess
You’re blown to death

SALAMINIZER by gwar
Here's a little something from a God to a slave,
I never should of been let out the fucking microwave!
We're on this planet and we're running a muck,
I should give a shit but I don't give a fuck!
Ever since I was a scumdog, I blew a cum-wad.
I need a mother-fucking suckadickalickalog!
Burning a mall or two, blowing the load I spew.
You don't wanna fucking fuck me? I'll Fuck you!
This is your ass, and I'm in it.
My man Sexy will fuck you up in a minute.
With an axe, sword, mace, pike your limbless.
Then I'll fuck your ass till its rimless!
Oh! You humans always screaming!
Oh! As you suckle on my semen!
Oh! And the shit is always steamin'
A drunk, a pervert, a junkie and a sodimizer.
But you can call me the salaminizer
I NEED MORE! I NEED MORE! I NEED MORE!
Give unto give unto give unto give unto
My life is a luxury, so filled with hate.
I got fifty slaves heaping maggots on my plate.
From my fortress in Antarctica I watch the world die
On my Sony Trinitron that's switched to channel 5.
Back on the road, its no lie....
Stupid fucking humans pay money to die!
Crushed in the pit, nailed to the stage
I only suck the souls that are underage.
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fuunnnnnnnyyyyyyy [29 May 2005|12:13pm]
saraismytwin
[ mood | crazy ]

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost
my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies,
"Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other,
"Does this taste funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's Not Unusual."

9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field; Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

11.Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."

13. Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese.
There are five people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my Mom or my Dad, or maybe my older brother
Colin or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But, I'm
pretty sure it's Colin.

14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

15. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

16. NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes. They called it the herd shot round the world.

17. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

21. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

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[28 May 2005|11:40pm]
saraismytwin
Bloodcraving
Awakened from the damp cold grave
Centuries undead the coffins slave
Hungering for taste of mortal blood
Hands breaking through the rotted wood
Tearing through the dirt
Rising from the earth
Ripping through the flesh, breaking limbs and bones
Blood pours from the neck, bodies torn and thrown
Feasting on the heart, gouging out the eyes
Organs torn apart, mortals scream and die
Zombie living dead
Forever to roam the earth

-MORTICIAN
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cliff hates u [26 May 2005|12:28pm]
saraismytwin
THE OFFICIAL CLIFF YABLONSKI CHRISTMAS STORY
CLIFF: "It was two days before Christmas, what, maybe ten years ago or some shit like that. All I remembers was that it was ungodly hot. Really steaming up the place, making you sweat and piss like nobody's business. I was chugging down beers like two, three at a time. Sweating like a fucking hog too.

So anyways, there I am on my porch, sitting on my lawnchair. I'm just minding my own damn business, waiting for the broad across the street to come out and do some gardening so I can stare at that candy-apple ass she's got. Her husband's some kind of prick though, he's like a lawyer or some shit like that. The little dickhead comes by the gas station one time and paid for 10 bucks of gas with a freaking 100 dollar bill. Like he's all important or something. I hate pricks like him. Back during the Korean War, when I was platooned at the 43rd Naval Fueling Station, I would've shoved my combat boot so far up the jerk's ass he would be tasting the dog shit I stepped on for weeks.

Where was I? Oh yeah, it was real fucking hot. So there I am, just sitting around and BAM, some Ford comes crashing into my mailbox. I'm like "What the FUCK?" and I get up and grab my bat to cave in the punk's face. But the door opens, and it's the hot broad from across the street! I reached over to 'help' her out of the car (and maybe grab a piece of ass) and she gives me this look like "Cliff, you fucking stud, I want to jump your 74-year old bones right here, right now" so I unzip my fly and let my shrived penis jump out. Next thing I know, she's screaming and her weasly little lawyer husband is running out of the house. He comes at me, I kinda step out of the way, and he trips over his own clumsy ass feet and falls on his face! I start laughing so hard I shit myself, the broad runs off into her house, and the Chinaman down the street calls the cops on me. Funniest fucking thing ever."

LOWTAX: "What does this have to do with Christmas, Cliff?"

CLIFF: "Shut the fuck up."

THE END, MERRY CHRISTMAS!


the site is www.somthingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou

basicly the site is run by this old cranky man named cliff, and ppl send pics of themselves to cliff and he post them on his site and makes fun of all of them! there is som 232 pages full of funnny comments and crazy pics.
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[25 May 2005|04:30pm]
saraismytwin
[ mood | calm ]

There was this bird. The bird was up north and winter was coming, but he did not leave with the rest of the birds to leave south because he wanted to be tough. Finally he left to go down south but it was to late and his wings froze. He fell down and landed into a cow field. So the bird was like, "Great im stuck here." Then a cow walks up and shits on him. So the bird was covered in shit stuck in a cow field and was like, "Damn im covered in shit." But then the shit warmed his wings, and he started to defreeze. So the bird starts to whistle cause he is getting happy and ready to fly again. Then a cat heres the whistling and walks over to the bird, digs it out of the shit, and eats it.
The moral of this story is just because someone shits on you doesnt always mean they are your enemy, and just because someone digs you out of shit doesnt mean they are your friends.

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Hmm... [25 May 2005|12:11pm]

typeabnegative
[ mood | Pbtt.... Lir fart... ]

I really don't know what to write...

I've been listening to the Dresden Dolls alot lately... My girlfreind left me last night, a little bummed aboo that. I'm graduating on Monday (the 30th), a little stressed about that. I want a smoke... I did some coke the other day for the first time in a wile, I'm a little mad at myself for that...

Nothing much else...

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triumph the insult comic dog [25 May 2005|11:51am]
saraismytwin
For Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, Come Poop With Me brings full circle a turbulent career that has spanned 63 dog years, dog years of struggle, faith, hope, spite, contempt, and now, at last, actual triumph.

Few today are likely to remember Triumph's early television appearances on the "Steve Allen Show," where network censors forced him to say, "for me to go to the bathroom on." Triumph overcame this and was an emerging star until his controversial 1968 appearance on "The Ed Sullivan Show," from which he was barred after his unfortunate ass-raping of Topo Gigio.

Banned from the airwaves following this incident, Triumph returned to his Catskill roots, dabbling behind the scenes as a comedy writer, crafting quips for everyone from Mr. Ed to Dick Gregory. Unhappily, Gregory fired him upon discovering Triumph was selling the same jokes to both.

In the '70s and '80s, aside from appearances on "The Love Boat" and "Donny and Marie," Triumph was best known as part of a modern "Rat Pack" that included himself, Robert Goulet, Merv Griffin and the Chuck Wagon dog. Today, as a regular on "Late Night," Triumph is adored by a whole new audience of not overly discerning young people. But Come Poop With Me, his first album in many years (the classic Songs In The Key of Poop may yet be re-released) reveals a lifelong passion. For Triumph grew up with music; it is as much a part of him as his tail or his pink thing. His father, a toy Rottweiler, sang in Yiddish Theater, and his mother, a sleek Afghan, looks like Celine Dion. (Triumph's sister isn't musical, but she smells like Christina Aguilera.)

Music is a companion on the lonely road, where Triumph lives year-round, away from his wife Erma, his mistress, Ladyfluff, and his 284 illegitimate children. Triumph has toured worldwide, from Alaska to Morocco, and has acquired gonorrhea from Pekingese, Chihuahuas, Lhasa Apsos, and an Amazon howler monkey, among many others. It is no surprise then, that his album encompasses a wide variety of musical styles, from the Caribbean calypso of "Underage Bichon," to the traditional Irish drinking song "Lick Myself," to the harder-edged anti-spaying diatribe, "Bob Barker," Triumph's venomous attack on the castration-happy quizmaster, howled with the aid of Jack Black.

But Come Poop With Me is more than simply a collection of bawdy songs, rude phone calls, and coarse exchanges with Blevel notables. It is also an album of surprising heart (as well as bowel). Marvel as Triumph picks at the last scraps of the "Dell Guy's" dignity, then slips seamlessly into his poignant rendition of the Yiddish classic "My Mama," an emotional plea to an aroused fellow canine on behalf of his aging mother. Here is the tender Triumph, and on the bonus track (a contemporary "rap" for the younger set), "I Keed" is Triumph's way of reminding us that even while attacking many of music's biggest names, he keeds. His so-called feud with Eminem, for example, is in fact merely light-hearted badinage between mutually admiring show business peers with much in common. Both are fearless mavericks. Both use humor to make their points. And both have had sex with Mariah Carey.

By: Kurt Loder
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to other 9mm community members [24 May 2005|09:33pm]
saraismytwin
other 9mm members...im really intrested in what weird things, or things you love that you can find online...like newspaper clipings, lyrics, pics, ur life story, whatever floats your boats. i want to get to know ppl.
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get with the lingo [24 May 2005|04:05pm]
saraismytwin
[ mood | amused ]

1. Clockwork Orange
The act of tying a subject down to a chair, fixating their eyes open, and forcing them to watch disturbing images.
Anthony's dad gave him a good Clockwork Orange when he made him watch the gay Nazi
foot fetish video.

appy polly loggy : apology

baboochka : old woman ::
baddiwad : bad ::
baddiwadest : baddest ::
banda : band ::(banda/band, gang)
bezoomny : mad ::(byezoomiyi/mad, insane)
biblio : library ::
bitva : battle ::
blub : sob ::
bog : god ::
bog and all his angels : heaven ::
bolnoy : sick ::
bolshier : big, greater ::
brat : brother ::
bratchnies : bastards ::
britva : knife, razor (Alex's weapon) ::
brooko : belly ::)
brosay : throw ::
bugatty : rich :: )

C

cal : shit
cancer : cigarette
cantora : office
carman : pocket
chai : tea ::
charles : priest, chaplain
chasha : cup
chassos : guards
cheena : woman ::
cheest : wash ::
chelloveck : person, man
chepooka : nonsense ::
choodessny : wonderful
chumble : mumble
clop : knock
cluve : beak
collocoll : bell
crack : break up ::
crark : yowl ::
crast : rob, steal; robbery
creech : scream, shout
cutter : money ::

D

dama : lady :: (dama/lady)
ded : old man :: (ded/grandfather)
deng : money ::
devotchka : girl
dobby : good ::
domy : house ::
dook : ghost :: Gypsy (dook/magic)
dorogoy : valuable, dear
drat : fight
drencrom : a drug
droog : friend
droogy : friendly
dung : defecate ::
dva : two

E

eegra : game
eemya : name
eggiweg : egg
em : mother

F

fag : tire
fagged : tired
fagging : exhausting
fillied : played, fooled with ::
firegold : a drink
fist : punch ::
flip : wild ::
forella : trout

G

gazetta : newspaper )
glazz : eye
gloopiest : dumbest
godman : priest
golly : unit of money
goloss : voice
goober : lip
goober muck : lipstick
goolied : walked
gorlo : throat
govoreet : speak, talk
grahzny : dirty
grazzy : soiled
gromky : loud
groody : breast
gruppa : group
guff : laugh
gullivers : heads
guttiwut : gut

H

hen korm : chickenfeed
horn : cry
horrorshow : good
hound and horny : corny

I

in out, in out : sexual intercourse
interessovat : interest
ittied : went
itties : goes

J

jammiwam : jam
jeeznies : lives
jeezny : life

K

kartoffel : potatoes
keeshka : gut
kleb : bread
klootch : key
knopka : button
kopat : dig, groove (English idiom)
koshka : cat
kot : tomcat
krovvy : blood
kupet : buy

L

lapa : paw
lewdies : people
lighter : crone
litso : face
lomtick : piece
lovet : catch
lubbilub : make love
luna : moon
luscious glory : hair

M

malchick : boy
malenky : little, tiny
maslo : butter
merzky : filthy
messel : thought, fancy
messeliest : fanciest
mesto : place
millicents : policemen
minoota : minute
molodoy : young
moloko : milk
moodge : man
morder : nose, snout
mounch : snack
mozg : brain

N

nachinat : begin
nadmenny : arrogant
nadsat : teen
nagoy : naked
nazz : fool
neezhnies : underpants
nochy : night
noga : foot
nozhes : knives
nuke : smell
nuke-a-tron : microwave ::
nuked : smelt

O

oddy knocky : lonesome
odin : one
okno : window
on my oddy knocky : alone
oobivat : kill
ookadeet : leave
ooko : ear
oomnier : smarter
oomny : clever
oozhassny : terrible
oozied : chained
osoosh : wipe, dry
otchky : eyeglass

P

pan-handle : erection
pan-handled : erect
pee : father
pee and em : parents
peet : drink
pischa : food
platch : cry
platties : clothes
plennied : imprisoned
plenny : prisoner
plesk : splash
pletcho : shoulder
plott : body
podooshka : pillow
pol : sex
polezny : useful
polyclef : skeleton key
ponied : understood
poog : fright
poogy : frighten
pooshka : gun,cannon
pop-disc : album
prestoopnick : criminal
pretty polly : money
privodeet : lead
prod : produce
ptitsa : 'chick', girl
pyahnitsa : drunk

R

rabbit : work, job
radosty : joy
raskazz : story
rassoodock : mind
raz : time
razdraz : upset
razrez : rip
rock : arm
rook : hand
rooker : fist
rot : mouth
rozzes : cops, policemen

S

sabog : shoe
sakar : sugar
sammy : generous
sarky : sarcastic )
scoteena : cow
shaika : gang
sharp : female
sharries : ass, buttocks
shest : barrier
shested : walled
shilarnied : concerned ::
shive : slice
shiyah : neck
shlaga : club
shlapa : hat
shlem : helmet
shoom : noise
shoot : fool
shvat : take
shvatted : took
silver-like : shiny
sinny : movie
skazat : say
skirk : scratch ::
skolliwoll : school
skorry : quick
skrike : scratch
skvat : grab
sladkies : sweets
sloochat : happen
sloosh : listen
slooshy : hear
slovo : word
smeck : laugh
smot : look
sneety : dream
snoutie : tobacco
snuff : die
snuff it : die
snuffs it : dies
sobirat : pick up
sod : fuck (possibly bastard)
soomka : bag
soviet : order, advice
spat : sleep
splodge : splash ::
spoogy : terrified
staja : State Jail
starry : old
strack : horror
stracky : horrible
synthemesc : a specific drug

T

tally : waist
tashtook : handkerchief )
tass : cup
this nochy : tonight
tolchock : hit
tomtick : bit, piece ::
toofle : slipper
tree : three

U

ultra violence : violence
ultra violent : violent

V

vareet : cook up, plan
vaysay : washroom
vaysays : washrooms ]
veck : person, man
vellocet : a specific drug
veshch : thing
viddied : saw
voloss : hair
von : smell (noun)
vred : damage, harm

W

warble : song
warbled : sang
wonk : mumble ::

Y

yahma : hole
yahood : Jewish
yahoodies : Jews
yahzick : tongue
yarble : testicle
yarbleless : testicle-less
yeckate : drive

Z

zammechat : remarkable )
zasnoot : sleep
zheena : wife
zoobies : teeth
zvonock : doorbell
zvook : sound

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GWAR.NET [24 May 2005|12:01am]
saraismytwin
The Legend of GWAR began millions of years ago when the aliens rampaged across the galaxy with a gang of space pirates called the Scumdogs of the Universe. Falling out of favor with their Master, GWAR was imprisoned on the most remote mudball planet in the galaxy...Earth. After killing off the dinosaurs and inadvertently creating the human species by raping prehistoric apes, GWAR began to significantly influence the development of the planet, until that wild gig in Atlantis, when it was decided that GWAR should be entombed in Antarctica. Thus, preventing them from screwing up Earth any further.
Several thousand years later GWAR were stumbled upon and awakened by, Sleazy P. Martini, a known pimp, pusher, pornographer, and record executive for Capitalist Records, accidentally stumbled into GWAR's Antarctic tomb and woke them. He took them to New York, gave them electric guitars, and began to market them as his latest Rock-n-Roll sensation. Some of GWAR's adventures are chronicled in their albums, comics, and videos, but there are still plenty of GWAR stories waiting to be told.
Now the only way to truly validate your life before death is to join the masses of "lowly zit-ridden scum of outcast prepubescence" when GWAR comes to ravish and bloody your mutant town.

"Billions and billions of years ago, darkness was all that existed. Then The Master, ruler of the universe, created the planets and everything in them. But soon The Master became bored of this and created death, destruction and war. He enjoyed watching the peons die but soon even that became boring, he himself wanted to kill. So he began slaughtering the humanoids that littered the planets face, but that too lost its fun. He needed more of a challenge, so he created God-like creatures with which he could do battle but soon there were too many of these creatures, and he had to be rid of them. He conjured up all his power and created the most powerful he could, GWAR was formed. This elite fighting force was called The Scumdogs of the Universe. The Master used them to destroy all of his enemies. Millions of years and millions of battles later, GWAR became more powerful and craved even more power. Thinking that they could take over The Master's throne, GWAR attacked him and the greatest of all battles began. The carnage lasted a billion years before The Master created the ultimate weapon - the Death Pod. The pod swallowed GWAR up and delivered them to The Master. "Ahhhh, foolish Scumdogs", The Master laughed. After thinking about what their punishment should be, he finally decided: GWAR shall be banished to a miserable mudball planet called Earth... The Earth rumbled when the mighty Death Pod crashed into its surface. Shaken and confused, GWAR crawled out and looked around. Thinking they could have a nice little planet once it’s cleared off, they destroyed the dinosaurs. Afterwards they created Stonehenge so they could play croquet, and weren't having that bad of a time. The Master looked down upon this and frowned, what kind of punishment is this? So to stop the nonsense he imprisoned GWAR in an iceberg on the frozen continent of Antarctica. Millions of years later: 1980ish. Glam rock was at its peak, groups like Poison and Whitesnake were dominating the airwaves. They inspired a whole slew of new "hair spray" bands. But little did they know all of that hair spray put a hole in the ozone - right above Antarctica! Soon the unfiltered gamma rays melted the iceberg and GWAR was free. Meanwhile, Sleazy P. Martini was fleeing the country on drug charges, flying over the former tomb of GWAR. He picked them up and brought them back to America. He taught them how to use instruments and they learned the language from watching midget wrestling and MTV. Soon GWAR was known as the greatest band in the Universe... Unsatisfied with being worshipped by humans, GWAR still wishes to take revenge on The Master. They discovered a way. If GWAR could summon the World Maggot, they could ride it back to the center of the universe and finally defeat The Master. The World Maggot is a large maggot that lives in the center of the Earth, the only way to wake it is to slaughter millions of innocent people. So, taking advantage of their newfound fame, GWAR puts on shows to which their fans flock. They murder and mutilate these fans, show after show, until enough blood is spilled to wake the maggot."
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new comunity [23 May 2005|11:06pm]
saraismytwin
I am ALIVE!!!
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